This is the ugliest GPU I’ve seen in a long, long time and weirdly I think I want one

Look, I’m not usually one to jump on the graphics card aesthetic bandwagon too quickly. That’s in part because unless you have a vertical mount, you don’t usually even see the shroud/fan side of the card, as it faces downwards. So, what’s the big deal?. But sometimes something is so out there that you just have to call it out.

This Vastarmor Radeon RX 9070 XT Super Alloy Ultra (via VideoCardz) is the ugliest graphics card I’ve seen in a long time. Admittedly there were uglier ones in the past, but in recent years I can’t think of anything more outlandish.

That is, I think, just because of the colour scheme. There’s nothing wrong with a nice gradient or gaussian blur (just ask Google), but to me this RX 9070 XT’s shroud screams “I’ve never heard the phrase ‘colour theory’ before.”

Those yellowing edges do not gel at all with the other bright colours on there, not even in a bold and vibrant rainbow kind of way.

And yes, I can see that this might be an attempt at something like a tempered steel aesthetic. I’m someone who’s into that kind of aesthetic when it’s done well—which makes me a big sucker for Counter-Strike skins—but yeah, no, this ain’t it. Plus, I’m pretty sure you don’t see bright green tempered steel.

The fact is, this is less tempered steel and more ‘Megatron took a dump’—and I’m talking about the comic book version here, not the fancy CGI one.

The consensus here in the PC Gamer hardware lair isn’t unanimous, admittedly. While one of my colleagues thinks of it as ‘rancid Photoshop AI slop’, and another likens it to jellybeans melting and melding together on a hot summer’s day, another thinks it’s not all too bad.

And to be honest, for as much as I think this is uglier than GPU prices in 2025, I would probably actually like to have one in my rig, vertically mounted and proudly on display. But that’s because I think it’d be funny to have something so outrageous on display. Still, whatever works, right?

Sadly, though, it looks like the Vastarmor Radeon RX 9070 XT Super Alloy Ultra might only be available for the colourblind in China. Bummer.