Preppered: an existential platformer is a game that’ll make you pay not just for your choices, but your sucky platforming skills, too

Preppered: an existential platformer, which releases today (April 7, if you’re reading this from the future), is shaping up to be a fascinating little exercise in interactivity. As you might’ve surmised from the title of the thing, it’s 100% a platformer—the ‘existential’ bit comes from the looming doom that’ll haunt your every step. Especially the wrong steps, which you’ll be making frequently.

Preppered is a game where you only get “one” shot to save the world. That’s in quotes, because Preppered isn’t actually a roguelike level of masochistic—see, in the far-flung, alien-filled future, the god of death’s been locked away. Every so often, the person who did it brings a super important star to its prison in order to keep it under wraps.

Only—the guy didn’t show up. You play a prospective coffee intern at the terrible company charged with holding onto it, which has sat twiddling its thumbs for six hours already. You decide (or don’t) that enough is enough, grab the star, and flee. Or get a job and presumably die.

But the god of death isn’t out just yet—so you can still respawn, and its tricky platforming sections (some of which require you to die to progress) still have checkpoints. This thing isn’t a roguelike. The real juice is in how Preppered tracks you—your story choices, sure, but your fumbles as well.

I made it to the end of the demo—just a short slice—and was informed that not only had I died 22 times, I’d failed to defeat the first boss. The full game promises that both of those facts will matter.

I’m not sure what impact the deaths taken will have—but I certainly got a taste when I bit it to the first boss, and had to sheepishly shuffle my way through the next several rooms, devoid of bullets and with nothing but my shame for company. Sorrowfully grabbing keycards that were far easier to obtain. Unfortunately, I happen to be a kinesthetic learner.

It’s a fascinating mechanic—in a way, it’s very Undertale-esque, keeping track of your mistakes by making a record of all your slip-ups, no matter how many times you save. The twist being, nobody forgets you beefing it. The demo ends with a vision of some utterly terrible fates, so I don’t doubt it’s going to kick your butt on your first try.

Whether it’ll stick the landing (unlike me, who failed to do so 22 times) depends on how it weaves that branching narrative in the full game, but I’m already charmed by its vibes. It helps that Preppered, from what I’ve seen, is quite funny. Everyone but you is wrapped up in some kind of corporate malaise that leads to some great gags—like the fact that your sucky company simply risks people falling to their doom, rather than shelling out for an elevator.

At the time of writing, Preppered: an existential platformer releases in under an hour—so by the time you’re reading this, it’ll likely be out. If you think you can die less than me, I’d give it a go.