Liberty returns, locked and loaded.
Helldivers 2 players are normal about the Eagle-1 pilot—otherwise known as that charmingly-voiced lady who helps you dispense liberty from the cockpit of her fighter jet with lines such as “Administering Freedom!”, “Democracy’s on its way!” and “Got ’em!”
Eagle-1’s cheery disposition, confident attitude, and distant nature has quickly elevated her to “best girl” status in record time—and, to be fair, while I’m not exactly going goggle-eyed over certain fanart of her like some, I can appreciate that she’s a comforting presence on the battlefield. When your diver(s) are screaming Sweet Liberty and getting wrung through the meat grinder, Eagle-1’s moxie is more than welcome.
SAVE US EAGLE 1! from r/Helldivers
However—because this is Helldivers, and the Helldivers universe is a blood-soaked hellscape coated in a thin shell of comedy, it didn’t take long for players to make up their own twisted headcanons as to what the seemingly-cushy service of an Eagle-1 pilot entails. While I’m sure Eagles get shot down from time-to-time, I’ve certainly never seen it, and they seem pretty far from the action.
Cue the Expanded Weapons Bay Upgrade. Unlocked as a Ship Module, this thing “trims excess leg space in the cockpit, allowing the eagle to carry additional payloads”. This has led to the belief that our beloved Eagle-1 pilot is getting her legs hacked off for democracy, like the Human PLUS pilots of the Armored Core universe who’re cybernetically woven into their mechs.
Luckily, we’ve got the finest propagandists—I mean, uh, truth-spreaders—at the Helldivers 2 official Twitter to debunk the theory. Reposting some excellent 3D art by patriot and leg truther magisterium_art, we are reassured that: “SE High Command would like to dispel any rumours that our Eagle pilots have been physically augmented to better perform their duty,” furthermore, “if you see any personnel with unauthorised body modifications, they may be an Automaton dissident. Stay vigilant, Helldivers.”
(Image credit: @helldivers2 on Twitter/X.)
At risk of a visit from my local democracy officer, Helldivers 2 is a universe run entirely on… well, lies. “Managed democracy” is “basically a Facebook personality quiz” and the Terminids bleed oil for the great Super Earth machine. It is entirely still possible that Eagle-1 is grafted into her plane.
But even if she was, that’s fine! We all make sacrifices for liberty. In fact, I’m being informed now that Eagle-1 never had legs, and that any claims she does have legs are in fact Illuminate propaganda. Unless you think she still does have legs, in which case, Eagle-1 has always had legs, and any claims she doesn’t have legs are also Illuminate propaganda.
Please report any unauthorised cognitive dissonance resulting from the previous paragraph to your nearest democracy officer.
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