Mario is a PC gaming icon, and yes, that stands for “personal computer” and not “plumber chic.” His best 3D platformer got a PC port back in 2020 thanks to a growing Nintendo 64 recompilation effort, and even if you don’t count that, his dogshittest game came to PC back in 1992. But I’m not here to talk about Mario. I’m here to talk about Yoshi.
Yoshi, Baby Mario’s foster father and adult Mario’s horse, is the headlining new character in the Super Mario Galaxy movie, which appears to be a neverending tapestry of references for theater-attending videogame players to point at and whisper, “I remember that guy” to their spouses and/or parents. The new teaser Illumination put out yesterday is packed with visuals and characters from Mario Odyssey, Mario Kart, Mario Sunshine, and the titular Galaxy.
What’s notable about this teaser is that Yoshi does that thing that he does. He gobbles up Kamek the Magikoopa in slow-motion with a flick of his tongue and then poops him out, his glasses comically intact over the fresh egg.
I had to Google whether this constitutes birth as mammalian live birth is a very different thing to reptile oviparity, and if the movie is anything like Super Smash Bros., Magikoopa can break out of the egg by rapidly rotating the control stick (which makes him rather unlike a fetus). Suffice it to say, my research yielded nothing of value, as Oxford defines birth as “the process of being born.” If the headline is misleading, that one’s on me.
It still looks like a colorful, gorgeously animated and lighthearted flick, which slightly offsets Chris Pratt’s bizarrely grounded performance as Mario and Bowser Jr.’s haunted, beady eyes. Maybe it’ll all be worth it to see Rosalina beat the stuffing out of Megaleg, a character I can’t believe I remember the name of.
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