Dark day for humanity as Gex Trilogy achieves ‘huge success,’ patches in its cursed EU voices from Red Dwarf’s Cat and the ‘Ding dong’ guy

Reader, I hoped I’d never have to write these words. I hoped you’d never have to read them. But it falls to me to report that, in a clear violation of mankind’s covenant with god, Limited Run Games’ remastered Gex Trilogy has apparently attained “huge success.”

I kid. Well, kind of. The Gex games were never good, but they make up one of those series that has, over the years, entered a level of meme-ified denigration that no game truly deserves outside of, like, Blackwater or something. A bit like Bubsy.

Much like Bubsy, one of Gex’s trademarks is that he absolutely will not shut up as you romp about the myriad platforms that make up the three games. He has a quip for everything and, best of all, seems to adhere to a heterodox theory of comedy that says jokes get funnier the more often you tell them.

In US versions of the original three games (and in all versions of the Limited Run remasters) those quips were voiced by none other than Dana Gould. But if, like me, you remember playing Gex 2 and 3 around a friend’s house on a rainy day in the UK (or elsewhere in Europe), then you probably remember different actors. You remember Leslie Philips (the ding dong guy) in Gex 2 and Danny John-Jules (Cat from Red Dwarf) in 3, with Gould taking the main role in the first game in all territories.

To celebrate the unthinkable success of the Gex re-do, Limited Run has brought those voices back. As of Monday, Gex players can enjoy the vocal stylings of Philips and John-Jules simply by changing the game’s regional flag to their preferred territory before starting the game. Saves aren’t compatible between different regional versions, as if the voices of Leslie Philips and Dana Gould were to ever combine, the world would end screaming in agony.

You know what? Great. I will make fun of Gex till I’m cold in the ground, but I support game archiving in all its forms. I’m glad Gex fans can now enjoy the game they remember. I just think they should do it from prison.