Sure seems like Ubisoft just frantically patched boobs back into Far Cry 4 after accidentally patching them out

Maintaining games, especially old games, is a real minefield. Even the oldest, most beloved classics have some issues in them, but what should devs do about that? If you go in and fix them, you might cause some new, bigger issue, setting off a maintenance spiral that just produces headache after headache, and all for a game that—let’s be honest—not many people are even playing anymore.

This is what Far Cry 4’s got me thinking about, anyway, in the wake of a minor controversy surrounding censorship of a topless lady (and bottomless gentleman) in an unexpected patch the game received yesterday, a decade after it first released.

The issue was first espied by a user on Reddit, who observed yesterday that a formerly topless female character—at Shanath Arena—was suddenly wearing a bra after 10 years of letting it all hang out. “Why do they do this AFTER 10 YEARS?” they wrote. The post was backed up by other posters: “For the record, this isn’t bait or a mod. I just checked. It’s real,” wrote modder Lord_Antheron, who also noted that, inexplicably, protagonist Ajay now wore a loincloth in the actual mission in that arena, rather than exposing his junk for all to see.

The cover-up—which I have decided to name ‘Boobfall’—seemed to coincide with an April 3 patch (which you can see on SteamDB) that had no patch notes but sure seemed to touch a fair bit of the game.

To fans, it looked like Ubisoft had suddenly had a puritanical moment a full decade after originally releasing the game, and conspiracies as to why abounded. Surely, mused posters, this had something to do with the recent mondo-deal between Ubisoft and Tencent? No doubt, they theorised, one of the key terms that the Chinese conglomerate demanded before it put pen to paper on the contract was that Ubisoft immediately obliterate boobs from its videogame from 2014?

It was not that convincing a theory, but nevertheless it took hold. But don’t worry, gamers, because I have in the last hour downloaded my own edition of Far Cry 4 and wandered over to Shanath Arena. You’ll be relieved to know that, as of the time of writing, the woman who calls the protagonist “Mr Stares-at-my-tits” still has, um, a reason to call him that. I don’t have a save near the Shanath mission itself, so I can’t check on the status of Ajay’s genitals, but I have to imagine they’re safe and sound too.

Far cry 4 censored Update (Pc) from r/farcry

So what happened? Well, I reckon the fact that I still got a faceful in my own game probably has something to do with a second patch Ubisoft quietly put out for the game. This one—a follow-up to the one that seemingly caused the cover-up yesterday—hit less than an hour ago, and touched quite a lot of the same parts of the game.

Here’s my theory: both patches futzed about with the Japanese and WW (that is, worldwide) versions of Far Cry 4. Japan’s game rating board, CERO, is infamously a little skittish about nudity and sexuality, and I suspect the Japan-specific version of FC4 covers up those bits and bobs that might offend its delicate sensibilities. I reckon that yesterday, someone got files from the Japanese and WW versions of the game mixed up, briefly leaving innocent gamers in a world of bras and loinclothes. Then, when the news started to circulate on Reddit and games media sites, Ubisoft frantically went back to return everyone to a state of nature.

It’s just my theory, but it seems solid to me. Regardless, I’ve reached out to Ubisoft for comment on its magical reappearing breasts, and I’ll update this piece if I hear back.