Palworld decides it wasn’t April fooling after all, is actually making a visual novel dating sim where you can, uh, ‘dismember and eat’ some of its cast

Around this time last year, on the day of the April fool, Palworld made a funny little jest towards the gaming public—what if we do an extremely original joke and say we’re making a visual novel? He he, ho ho, wouldn’t that be a laugh.

I can only imagine the meeting that followed where, staring blankly into space, someone decided to speak up and say ‘okay, what if we actually make one?’ Clearly, no-one was brave enough to fight against this act of divine injustice, because Palworld developer Pocketpair is absolutely making a visual novel.

Pointedly announced March 31, not April 1, the game has a Steam page, and everything: “You, the protagonist, enroll as a transfer student in the prestigious Palpagos Private Academy. You will meet unique friends (pals) and enjoy school life through friendship and romance. It’s up to you whether you stay friends with the pals, develop romantic relationships with them, or even dismember and eat them.”

Even—hold up, even what? Can we just—hold on.

Palworld itself isn’t any stranger to dark humour. You can cook Pals (or just overwork them)—which is honestly whatever. They might be a little more smarter than the average animal we chow down on in the real world, and also capable of summoning great conflagrations, but most Pals are still… you know, animals.

The cast of the upcoming visual novel “Pal♡world! ~More Than Just Pals~”, however, are anthropomorphised. Just straight-up people, with like, clothes, and the capacity for human speech. Why can you dismember and eat them? I have several more questions, but that’s the most pressing one.

Anyway, the new trailer (shown below) gives us a glimpse at several new romantic/gastronomical options.

These include Clumsy Quivern, whose “refreshing smile and innocent personality make him popular with both men and women”, School Nurse Saya, who “toys with the protagonist with her adult sex appeal”, Bubbly Tarantriss, who knits you cute scarves, and Yandere Splatterina, who “always carries a knife and exudes a dangerous scent” and “has a tendency to imprison people”. Cool.

The trailer itself gives a glimpse at the kind of scenes this accursed creation will provide, like getting caught staring at School Nurse Saya’s chest, or petting Chillet while they make suggestive noises. Someone, somewhere, will presumably be thrilled by both of these developments. Pal♡world! ~More Than Just Pals~ doesn’t have a release date, so we’ll be safe from it for a while longer. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go dunk my head in some cold water.