Square Enix’s Chocobo Steam Deck is cute, fluffy, and unfortunately gets in-KWEH-dibly warm

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, the second game in the classic RPG remake trilogy, is finally playable on PC. To celebrate the release, Square Enix has made three feathery Chocobo Steam Decks for UK-based charity Special Effect to give away. ‘In-KWEH-dible,’ indeed.

Special Effect is primarily known for their work crafting bespoke control set-ups for those with physical disabilities that mainstream gamepads otherwise exclude. The giveaway is in aid of the accessibility charity’s upcoming Game Blast fundraising weekend, and at time of writing you’ve still got one week to get your entries in for a chance to win (so long as you’re based in the EU or UK). However, you won’t just be entering a draw to win one Steam Deck, but two.

According to a note attached to the giveaway Gleam page as well as a number of Special Effect’s Instagram posts, the Chocobo Steam Deck can overheat due to all that fluff and feather. So, winners of the giveaway will receive not just the big bird handheld for display purposes, but another more standard Steam Deck to play as well—though you probably wouldn’t want to dive into Final Fantasy VII Rebirth on either one anyway.

Queen’s Blood cards on the table, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth left us far from convinced in either our review or performance analysis. However, we still rate Valve’s handheld, even if it remains one of the bulkier handheld gaming PCs out there—a chunky form factor not helped by swaddling it in faux fur fabric and fake feathers. Still…there’s just something about fluffy hardware that compels me, no matter how heinous.

For visitors to Square Enix’s offices, it is generally frowned upon to cuddle up with their life-size chocobo statue—don’t ask me how I discovered this—so an appropriately themed Steam Deck is the next best thing. Granted, you definitely wouldn’t want to use it as a hot water bottle replacement, but pettable tech isn’t unheard of. What I’m sure my colleagues would prefer to hear far less of is my own Chocobo impression which, though finely honed over years of practice, still has no volume control beyond ‘Maximum KWEH.’