13 years on, Ubisoft adds Steam achievements to the one mainline Assassin’s Creed game you can’t actually buy, but not the updated version you can

Ubisoft’s been returning to Steam with all the enthusiasm of a groom at a shotgun wedding for a good few years now, and most recently it’s been adding Steam achievements to its back catalogue of games. In the last month alone, both Watch Dogs 2 and Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon have found themselves redolent with cheevos.

But now, in a move I can’t help but find a bit funny, Ubi has gone ahead and added achievements to Assassin’s Creed 3. Original, 2012 Assassin’s Creed 3, I mean, not the remastered version from 2019. That’s, uh, the version you can’t actually buy anymore: the one with a big orange “Assassin’s Creed 3 is no longer available on the Steam store” notice on its page. AC3 remastered, meanwhile, remains cheev-less. It means only people who already bought AC3 Cool Original back when it was available will be able to earn ’em.

Which, to be fair, Ubi does acknowledge in the update’s accompanying news post. “What about Assassin’s Creed 3 Remastered?” the studio anticipates someone asking, and answers “Achievements for Assassin’s Creed 3 Remastered are coming soon!”

Which, hey, isn’t much of an issue unless you’re some kind of weirdo who actually cares about Steam achievements (like, well, me), and I have to imagine there’s probably some long chain of weird corporate decision-making that makes the bass-ackwards way Ubisoft is Steam-ifying its games make sense. But still, on its face it’s not exactly intuitive to add features to a game you’re not actually selling anymore rather than the games you actually are.

In addition to the AC3 update, Ubi’s also put out achievements for Assassin’s Creed: Liberation HD, the once-upon-a-time Vita exclusive that got ported to beefier machines in 2014. You can still buy that one, so fair play. If you’re worried about having to replay those games to unlock the achievements you already earned, fear not, you’ll get all the cheevos you’ve previously chalked up straight away when you launch the game.

So ultimately it’s all good news. I like the dopamine hit of an achievement pop as much as the next guy, and I’m glad to see more games get it even if they’re very odd choices indeed. If you really wanna make me happy though, Ubi, how about removing the necessity to use Ubisoft Connect entirely? I’m sick of using my launcher to launch launchers.

No? Well, it was worth a shot.