“Get good” this, “player toxicity” that, none of it really matters when you’re talking about just having fun with a cool videogame in this bitch of a life. That said, I have a very high standard for judging who has truly “gotten good” at soulsborne games: Those streamers who play with dance pads or Donkey Konga drums, challenge and speedrunners, and the guy in my college dorm who played Dark Souls 1 windowed on his MacBook Air without a controller or mouse—he used WASD to move and arrow keys for the camera—all come to mind. Now, MouseInATutu on YouTube joins that ancient and honorable company thanks to their predilection for the most excruciating challenge runs I’ve ever seen.
MouseInATutu goes in as a rune level one Wretch, limited to whatever weapons can be wielded with base stats and the Soreseal talismans. That’s already a tall order, but the biggest thing setting MouseInATutu apart is their abstention from rolling or blocking, two of the most basic functions in soulsborne combat. Instead, they rely entirely on timing and positioning, running out of the way of attacks and occasionally jumping to dodge otherwise-unavoidable moves like Rellana’s Twin Moons.
Against Messmer, MouseInATutu opted for the Iron Ball fist weapon with a magic infusion, eking out extra damage from the Lazuli Glintstone Crown, Rakshasa’s set, and talismans to boost charged attacks and attack power at low health. With this setup, they were doing surprisingly decent damage to Messmer, but a victory like this still requires the utmost skill and, according to MouseInATutu, “absolutely god RNG.”
It’s an amazing achievement to beat Messmer like this, but the big kahuna is still out there: Is it even possible to beat Promised Consort Radahn without dodging, blocking, or being hit? Forget making it even harder at rune level one, his aggressive combos and beefy health bar would already make the fight a marathon. Add to that, his arena-filling explosion attack—not the one where he floats to charge it up, his other arena-filling explosion attack—would be an immediate run killer adding a further element of RNG to the challenge. If it’s possible though, I’m sure one of our yeoman souls sicko challenge runners will figure out how.