The Mean One hits theaters on Dec. 9, 2022.
Steven LaMorte’s The Mean One is just another in a long line of no-budget indies that drum overnight hype thanks to a bonkers title or outlandish trailer, never with the production capabilities to deliver on marquee excitement. Writers Flip and Finn Kobler challenge the boundaries of unauthorized parody legalese by turning Dr. Seuss’ grumpy Christmas party pooper — The Grinch — into a cold-hearted slasher villain. It’s the fourth feature film adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, claiming never to use language from the literature to abide by parody standards. Instead, LaMorte’s cast and crew fumble through a Christmas hack-n-slash marred by ugly digital effects — here’s hoping you’re sloshed on nog or mesmerized by the green meanie, so the film’s quality matters less and less.
Stunt actor Krystle Martin stars as Cindy You-Know-Who, returning to her hometown of Newville 20 years after her the murder of her mother on Christmas Eve. Cindy knows what she saw that night — a puke-green bastard dressed as Santa. Sheriff Hooper (Erik Baker) never caught the Christmas killer since leads about an inhuman mongrel met dead ends. Newville bans Christmas decorations and celebrations to keep townsfolk safe in the meantime — until Cindy’s father, Lou (Flip Kobler), hangs tinsel and lights to spark a little holiday spirit, but instead instigates another yuletide massacre in Newville.
Somewhere along my parody stipulation research, I stumbled upon the (possibly fictional) clause that there needs to be 13 (or so) distinct points of differentiation between the original and the parody in question. Flip and Finn write The Mean One as such because there’s sadly no Max sidekick this time, nor does “The Mean One” — you won’t hear the word “Grinch” anywhere — speak in rhymes or at all. Christopher Sanders overlays a narration that’s eerily reminiscent of Morgan Freeman’s voiceover, forcing “roast beast” puns and structured rhymes that blend Dr. Seuss with Dr. Satan. Although, there’s mention of hearts shrinking two sizes too small and other direct Grinch references, as well as the costume ripped straight from Universal’s live-action How the Grinch Stole Christmas? Flip and Finn rely heavily on character likeness to distract from their otherwise wafer-thin story, which establishes one golden rule — The Mean One attacks anyone handling Christmas decorations — it can’t even keep straight.
The Mean One is low-budget without the cleverness to salvage execution.
Plain and simple, The Mean One is a jokey-but-janky mess of intellectual property skewering that doesn’t think further than its trailer buzz. Performances aren’t vying for breakout notoriety, stumbling through awkward romantic beats and generic montages set to public domain-level metalhead Christmas carols. Cinematography is a mess of static rawness that wonkily fumbles the camera around, and color correction washes this unattractive dull blue filter atop outdoor scenes to inorganically “cool” winter environments. Humor’s never sharp enough to cut through the amateurish pedigree of lackluster deliveries outside Dr. Seuss references like a bar called Horton’s, nor does horror blend with comedy to any manageable degree.
I’ve been burned by many an Ouijageist or Shark Side of the Moon in my quest for B-Movie glory — add The Mean One to my naughty list.
Terrifier 2 actor David Howard Thornton washes away his black-and-white Art the Clown makeup to become The Mean One, with apparent mimicry of Jim Carrey’s slapstick Grinch characterization. He’s the best part of The Mean One, whether bludgeoning inappropriate Santacon drunks or cartoonishly creeping past windows in the background with tiptoe exaggerations. That’s saying little in comparison, but Thornton’s handcuffed by the production’s inability to deliver anywhere near Terrifier 2’s practical effects budget. The Mean One’s violent carnage happens mostly off-camera, which leaves Thornton as just another surface-level Carrey impersonator with prosthetics that don’t cover his whole face and a crocodile-colored wig.
Worst of all, it’s an inept slasher that fails the justification of its parody — maniacal brutality. The Mean One abuses animated effects, whether that’s an inexcusable majority of blood splatters, laughable bullet holes, or atrocious aquarium fish — did I even spy a digital tear on an actor’s cheek? Maybe LaMorte intentionally aimed for cartoonish fakeness, but no matter the intention, The Mean One displays some of the worst post-production blood work I’ve seen since the last Asylum special that hit SYFY or Tubi. Hell, maybe even worse? The Mean One serves a beheading or two, one charred corpse, and displays Christmas creativity with accents like Cindy’s peppermint color patterned shotgun — yet The Mean One is low-budget without the cleverness to salvage execution. Quite frankly, computer-generated effects are an embarrassment that requires an apology to the horror genre.
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