Avoiding the Noid is the 38th lesson of Vivec.
Things used to be better, you know. The sun was brighter, the winters shorter, all the world had a new car smell and you could, if you were so inclined, order a pizza to your home by typing /pizza into the text chat of Everquest 2. What a time it was to be alive.
But some ideas are too good to leave in the dustbin of history, which is presumably why you can now order Domino’s pizza delivery by chatting to an NPC in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It’s the work of a mod called Nickies’ Pizzablivion, and if I close my eyes, I can just about imagine it’s 2005 again.
The mod adds a character called Pizza Black to the outskirts of the village Weye. If you speak to him, you’ll find an option to “Order Pizza” that, once clicked, will send a predetermined Domino’s order right to your door, though you can change it yourself if you have some coding skill and knowledge of Domino’s product codes. At present, the default order that you’ll receive consists of:
A 12-inch thin-crust pizza8-piece garlic bread twistsA 20-oz bottle of Fuze Lemon Tea
That comes to $28.23, tax and delivery fees included. The mod’s author, Nickies, doesn’t say if the mod works outside the USA, but I’d be surprised if it did without a lot of tinkering. They do say you might have to try a couple of times to make it work properly, though. In testing, Pizza Black only successfully placed an order on a second try.
Pizzablivion needs you to install a few bolt-ons to let an RPG from 2006 communicate with the Domino’s of 2022, namely the Oblivion Script Extender, the OBSE Plugin Network Pipe, and the Magicjarvis fork of the ggrammar PizzaPi module. It sounds more complicated than it is: most of these mods just need you to drop them in the right folder, and they all have fairly detailed installation instructions.
A quick word of warning, though. In order for the mod to work properly, you’ll need to enter your address and card details into the .py document that comes with it, which means storing all that info in plain text on your internet-connected computer. Nickies is emphatic that you use Nickies’ Pizzablivion at your own risk, and that they aren’t affiliated with Domino’s. But, well, I have to admit I’m still very tempted.
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